and they call it puppy love

You know how new parents tend to revolve their daily conversations along the lines of baby’s bowel movements, baby’s sleep patterns, baby’s feeding schedule and etc.? Well, having a puppy is no different. These days, my conversation with The Husband from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed revolves very specifically around Milo’s sleep, Milo’s potty training, Milo’s feed, Milo’s play and how Milo is doing in general.

Having a nine-week-old puppy means we have to watch him every single second he’s awake, and put him on a strict, regimented schedule. Consequently, this means we have to be very disciplined ourselves. For the first week, we took turns waking up in the middle of the night to take Milo to the bathroom so he could relieve himself. A young puppy has little to no bladder control. Thankfully he is starting to sleep through the night now (much like a baby), which means we in turn get six to seven hours of uninterrupted sleep.

We also take turns waking up at 6.30am to feed him, potty train, and have a short play before we have to leave for work. And then we take turns coming home for lunch to do the same, before leaving for work again. His weekday schedule at the moment consists of sleep, wake up, potty, food, play, potty and sleep again every two hours or so.

On weekends, he is up, bright-eyed and wanting to play by 7am, which means we take turns sacrificing our precious sleep-in. The Husband is much better with Milo in the mornings than I am, of which I am very grateful for. He wakes up naturally cheerful and happy, while I tend to walk around daze and slightly grumpy until I’ve had a cup of coffee.

So yes, it has been a rather challenging adjustment – and we try to make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves it is good training for when we have a baby! The truth is, having a puppy is 90% learning, dedication, patience, teamwork, discipline, more patience, the ability to scream in your pillow and not at the puppy, and 10% cuteness, cuddles and fun.

However, Milo has certainly made himself an integral part of our lives from the get go. There’s no ignoring this little one when he wants your attention – which is always - and much like a baby, it’s hard not to fall for his with his eager eyes, floppy ears and soft, silky hair, at first sight.

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t mind him growing out of his puppy cuteness a little quicker, if it means more sleep for us and more play time in the park and beaches, and less crawling on hands and knees to wipe up his ‘accidents’.

A word of advice... they're never as innocent as they look.

comme ci, comme ca

Walking to work today, I had my iPod playing Janet Seidel’s version of Windmill of My Mind at full volume, and for a few minutes, I was transported to the streets of Paris. The grey of downtown Auckland faded along with my worries, as I immersed myself in an imaginary city of twinkle lights, cobbled sidewalks, lovers walking hand in hand, freshly brewed cappuccinos, and my arm tucked in my husband’s as we walk, leaving footprints on the snow on the ground, laughing and completely carefree.

If only.

Milo the pup

my hour

Today I did something I haven’t done in a long time. On my lunch hour, I walked to a Japanese restaurant I used to frequent when I was working in my first job, sat in a quiet corner with a magazine, ate my lunch by myself, and went for a long walk after – just because I felt like it.

My mind was craving for quiet. I didn’t feel like talking or socializing. I didn’t feel like fake smiling or nodding to something uninteresting someone said. I didn’t feel like laughing, or having a glass of wine. I didn’t feel like pretending to feel anything other than what I was feeling - disconnected, quiet, invisible. And I wanted to embrace that. I simply wanted to be.

We spend too much time putting on masks and pretending to be someone else, because we feel we must. Because the alternative might mean ostracizing others, not having any friends, or people finding you weird and strange. Then again, if the people you surround yourself with are gained through forced conversations, pretending to smile at their silly jokes and laughing with them even though all you feel like is being quiet and crying, are they worth having anyway?

And so I walked. And I walked. And as I walked, I glanced past other lone dinners sitting by themselves looking out the window, lost in thought, staring at the world going by.

And I couldn’t help but wonder if they were feeling lonely too.

on work

I wish I could write more, but I’ve been running on empty for the past few weeks, often collapsing on the couch the minute I get home, and having to drag myself up to change out of my work clothes/shower/prepare dinner. Consequently, The Husband and I are spending too much on take-outs, as it is simply easier to buy food than chopping, dicing, frying and cleaning up after a long, long day.

Unfortunately, I’m also not very good at maintaining a magazine and a blog at the same time. There is an obvious pattern in the number of posts I write when I’m not working, and when I am, which is to say nearly zilch at the moment. My nights are now spent zoning out as the TV plays mindless albeit entertaining programmes in the background, or doing endless reading on puppy training and the likes. The Husband surprised me with ‘The Dog Listener’ by Jan Fennell last week, of which I am gleaming plenty of helpful insights and useful information. It’s funny how wrong we’ve been getting it with our little canine friends all this time – but more on that another time.

On a positive note, the very first issue of my magazine is nearly completed, and I am pleased to say I managed to produce it in the allocated time of three weeks, without a computer, phone or emails to work with for at least two out of the three weeks.

Responsibility is always stressful, but I am enjoying the ability to create, to challenge myself, and to see my work take fruit again. In retrospect, I suppose seven months really isn’t that long to figure out what it is you truly want, and what you’re truly happy doing. In my case, my long absence from work has helped me to figure out that this is where I thrive – amidst the hustle and bustle, highly pressured and fast-paced world of publishing, writing articles, interviewing industry experts, and contributing to an industry I believe in.

However, I’ve also realised that unlike before, my work doesn’t define who I am anymore. It is great to be recognised, but I know now that if something changes in my career path, I will also be okay. And that knowledge fills me with a deep sense of peace.

Now please excuse me while I enjoy my last night of having my husband all to myself before Milo the Pup bounces his way into our lives and hearts tomorrow.

coffee-break

You know you're drinking too much coffee when the kindly owners at the cafe below your office greets you enthusiastically every morning, asks if you're having a Trim Flat White as per usual before you even say anything, and gives you extra M&M's to go with it.

twenty confessions

• I have an irrational desire to hug myself.
  
• I secretly love rainy Sundays, especially when I get to snuggle on the couch with a movie.
  
• I also secretly love going for Yum Char with my aunt Jessie because she orders in Chinese and all I have to do is sit and watch the food appear.
  
• I would have Yum Char every week if I could.
• Over the past week, the Husband fixed our washing machine, took me to work when it was pouring down with rain, picked me up from work when it was pouring down with rain, bought me a bottle of wine so I could have a glass with my dinner, picked me up from my work-do which ended at midnight, made several yummy dinners, drove me out west to see our new Spaniel puppy, went shopping with me for things our new puppy will need when he arrives and helped me pick out puppy names.
• I am so in love with my husband.
• I wonder if Oreo the Crazy Cat is happy in her new home.
• I really miss Oreo the Crazy Cat. 
• Last week, we finally succumbed and got SKY Satellite TV. 
• Our lovely, warm apartment is lovely and warm.
• I am sick of bananas.
• I really want to win the Lotto although it may be quite difficult since I've never bought a ticket. 
• I love being an employed writer again, even though it results in very vague, unprofessional writing on my blog because Ijustcan'tbearsedtoconstructpropersentences.
• I am waiting for the phone to ring. 
• If I could read all day, I would read all day.
• I really have no idea what Twitter is about. 
• My work involves a lot of drinking, eating, socialising and interviewing famous people.
• Last week, while I was drinking, eating and socialising,  I realised I was actually quite happy not to be one of the famous people. 
• I wish I didn't hate ironing so much. 
• To paraphrase a chef I just interviewed, 'I don't know what will happen in the future, but I'm really happy where I am now, and that's all I need to know.'