~wishes~

So it’s really happening.

In a little more than a month, I’ll say goodbye to my family for the second time in three years, pack my bags, and take off on yet another life-altering journey.

The truth is, I’m scared to death.

Beneath this veneer of excitement and purpose, beneath layers and layers of adulthood, responsibility and taking steps towards a better future, is a person who’s still afraid of lonely nights, slightly afraid of change, and most afraid of her dreams crashing onto the hard, cold, floors of reality.

What happens if everything falls apart? What happens if the only chance I have to build a different life for myself – the life I want – turns to dust, and I’m forced to blow out this faint flicker of hope?

What happens if I never find you?

The truth is, I’m a little tired.

I’m tired of having to stand on my own. Of having to fight so hard all the time – just to live. Some days, I want nothing more than to come home to a pair of warm, loving, strong arms. To have someone hold me so I don’t have to try so hard to stay on my feet. To lie on someone’s chest and just… be.

To know I’m going to be okay.

But that’s just too easy isn’t it?

This blog was named after a song – ‘Someone Else’s Star’ by Bryan White, and for better or worse, that's been the running theme of my life for as long as I can remember. Well, it has to stop. Now.

I’m not making my wish on someone else’s star anymore.

This one’s just for me…